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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24861607">I'll Be Right Here With You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spocksbrowneyes/pseuds/spocksbrowneyes'>spocksbrowneyes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>And suffering the consequences, Fluff, Insecure Spock (Star Trek), Insomnia, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Overworking, Spock Has Feelings (Star Trek), Spock is a Mess (Star Trek), Spock is stressed out</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:33:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24861607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spocksbrowneyes/pseuds/spocksbrowneyes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Spock has trouble sleeping and has been leaving bed a lot. Jim talks to him about it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James T. Kirk/Spock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Crackers the Python A Collection of all my Works Featuring the Glorious Noodle Ball</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'll Be Right Here With You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you for reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Jim had noticed a tendency in Spock. He’d go to bed with Jim, but never quite fall into a restful sleep. He’d wake up in the middle of the night. Some nights he’d give up, and Jim would wake up to a half-empty bed, and see Spock sitting at the counter of their kitchenette, already dressed and working on reports. Some days he’d be in the labs, and Jim would wake up alone entirely. And somedays Jim woke up at 2 am, to see Spock doing the same thing. Dressed, and working.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim hadn’t questioned it though, Spock did need less sleep than him, so it made some sort of sense. Also, Spock wasn’t one to just dilly dally and waste time, he liked to start working as soon as he could. While Jim did feel a bit lonely waking up alone (or alone-ish), Spock had done things for him to make Jim feel at home that he generally wouldn’t do due to his Vulcan heritage. So, he decided that if this was something Spock needed to do to feel more comfortable, he could live with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-------</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jim’s eyes fluttered open, he looked over to the other side of the bed. Empty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed, and sat up, “Spock?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No answer. He looked around Spock wasn’t at the counter, he wasn’t making himself a cup of tea. The bathroom light wasn’t on, so he wasn’t in there. He wasn’t in their room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim looked over to the chronometer, and had to do a double-take at the time, it was indeed, 1:35, in the fucking morning, and Spock was just gone. Jim shook his head to himself, getting out of bed and throwing a shirt on. He grabbed a pair of sweatpants to wear and left the room. He didn’t have the slightest idea of where to start. He knew Spock sometimes went to the science labs in the morning, but he almost always left around 5 am or something. Never this early.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim decided to check the observation deck, he knew Spock always liked to look at the stars, and would sometimes go there late at night. There was something innocent about it that Jim loved. So much bad had happened to Spock, even though he was young for a human, even younger for a Vulcan. Jim thought that he always looked even younger when he was sitting in the dark, looking at the stars. There was a look of purity in his eyes, the kind only a child can hold, and we all protect with our lives, only to lose it. And somehow, through all that bad, Spock still clung to a bit of his. However, he wasn’t there, the stars didn’t have any prolonged viewers tonight on this deck, but Jim still spared a glance out into the darkness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim knew he should probably just locate him with the ship’s computer, I’d be faster, but there was something about finding him on his own that Jim found to be almost special. Jim went down the hall to the turbolift and queued in the Science deck. The doors swished open, it was dark in the ship’s simulated night except for the light strip running against the wall and floor. Jim walked down the corridor, peeking into dark labs, looking for somebody inside. He’d passed all the chem labs and headed onto biology. Jim couldn’t help but feel a bit creeped out, the biology labs were all inside one main lab so it’s harder for animals to escape, but within those walls, the only sound in the dead of night was the low hum of the engines and the breathing and scratching of the animals. The squeak of a rodent running on its wheel, frogs croaking in a chorus. The sounds seemed almost as if they were shouting over the silence, a silence that was pressing down on them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim looked around the room when he spotted a terrarium, softly illuminated by a heating lamp, </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s weird</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Jim thought. Most of the reptiles were in the next room over. Jim walked over to the enclosure and peered inside. It was empty. At least it looked like that, Jim considered that whatever lived in there could be hiding, but it was a relatively empty space, a little extra bedding than most, but no toys to play with or whatever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim tapped on the shield to see if anything would move, only for his hand to go straight through. Jim’s blood ran cold. It was unlocked. And there probably had been something in there. Had being the keyword. Jim stood up and carried on. Now looking for both Spock and whatever had gotten out. Truth be told, he’d never made a habit of going to the biology labs. He knew that it was a bit of a grind in there as is, and people coming in and out with animals and some very determined plants out, wasn’t exactly ideal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim continued down the hall, still gazing into dark rooms, looking for his boyfriend. He looked ahead of him to a light illuminating the floor outside of one of the rooms, Jim smiled and went for it. He pressed the lock button to open the door, and it slid open with a hiss. He looked around, there was nobody there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed and turned. But then he heard the light sound of breathing. He perked up and went in. He looked over the table in the room and burst into smiles. Spock was sitting on the floor, in his uniform, asleep, head tipped against the side of the counter. His hair was messed up, a bit falling in his face. Jim came around the table but stopped dead. That was mostly because there was a snake in boyfriends lap, probably sleeping as soundly as he was. Or more accurately, the snake’s head was on his chest, draped across his neck, then going down his arm, then across his lap, and continuing under his arched legs, and then across the floor, with its tail coming to rest by about a foot away from Jim’s feet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim smiled, he’d found both of his escapees. He breathed a sigh of relief, he would have completely freaked if he came across that snake in a hallway, probably would’ve screamed so loud that he’d wake up the whole deck and probably the one just above and below. Also, he would’ve scared Spock enough that he would’ve jumped up and whacked his head on the counter hard enough to knock himself out. That’d be a hard one to explain to McCoy and Jim would have no choice but to do the honors. Jim crept closer to Spock, he’d admit that he was a little extra cautious as not to step on the snake, while he would probably have to be shitfaced drunk in order to do that, he’d admit that he was a tad bit scared of snakes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook Spock’s shoulder a bit, carefully avoiding the reptile’s head. Spock mumbled something unintelligible and shifted away from the touch, waking up the snake carefully draped across him. The snake lifted it’s head up and looked a Jim, it’s tongue flicking in and out. While it had seemed large when Jim first saw it, Jim was also just now realizing, that well, this was a big ass snake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” Jim whispered to it, shaking Spock’s shoulder again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The snake turned and poked Spock’s cheek with its snout like it didn’t quite know where it was going. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock’s eyes opened and he looked over to the snake’s face, “Hello.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked up to Jim, “Hello Jim,” he looked around, almost confused as to why he was just sitting on the floor with Jim and a snake, “What might you be doing here at this time in the night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim plopped down next to him, “Well I was looking for you. What are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock looked away from Jim, looking a the snake that was now slithering its way down from his shoulders, resting its head on his knees. He seemed as if he were contemplating his answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, he said, “I found myself unable to sleep so I attempted to begin working. However, it appears that I did, in fact, fall asleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim nodded at the obvious statement, “Yeah. You did fall asleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim glanced at the reptile, falling back into a peaceful slumber, “So what’s the deal with the snake?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock looked to Jim, happiness behind his eyes, “Upon my arrival, I discovered that I had finished all of my reports and therefore made use of my time by caring for her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The snake looked to Spock as if it knew he was talking about her. She flicked her tongue out again and looped around to rest her head on the area of her midsection in Spock’s lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Does she have a name?” Jim asked, intrigued to listen to Spock talk about her more. Sure, he didn’t find science to be nearly as interesting as Spock did, he would’ve applied for sciences then, not for command.  But, he liked seeing Spock so alive when he talked about it. Even when he was recuperating and confined to their quarters by Dr. McCoy’s orders after Altimid, he’d still found a way to do what he loved. He had watched Jim with absolute fascination when he was cooking, watching the reactions of the ingredients. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim never would have been able to find such interest in something so simple. But Spock had been so interested in it. Truth be told, Spock wasn’t entirely familiar with Terran cooking, let alone the ingredients, but as a result, Jim got this: Pure curiosity and fascination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another time Jim had seen that light in his eyes was when he’d asked about a science article he’d been buried in the whole day. Spock had immediately pulled away from the part he was reading and explained it to Jim, showing him graphs and explaining what it was about along with the rules and properties it discussed. Jim didn’t understand 3/4 of the terms he was using, but he was so enthralled by it, and Jim loved it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Her name is Crackers,” Spock said simply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim laughed, “Crackers? This absolutely huge snake’s name, is, is </span>
  <b>Crackers</b>
  <span>!?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Spock replied, resting her long body over his shoulders and standing up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim got up as well, looking fondly at his First Officer and this, Crackers the snake that was gently wrapped around him. Spock starting walking towards the door as Jim followed, turning off the lights.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked down the dark hallway and into the main lab, “Spock?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Jim?” Spock replied, gently placing Crackers back into her terrarium, and locking the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I talk to you about something when we get back to our quarters?” Jim asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock nodded, “Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked back to their room in silence, Jim thinking of just what he was going to say, and Spock worried about whatever it was he did to bother Jim. He was honestly just firing the possibilities off the list in his head, and he genuinely wondered where some of his self-accusations came from. Some of the things he thought of were outright illogical, the result of the things he’d never done. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked back into their room, and Spock slid off his shoes, placing them next to Jim’s. Jim flopped down onto their bed, and Spock sat down next to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You wished to discuss something?” Spock prompted, mostly out of worry and a desire to figure out what he’d done now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim pushed himself up and kissed Spock’s forehead, “We don’t have to be at the bridge till 10:00, go get in something comfy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock just barely sighed but obliged, getting up and finding the sweatpants and oversized shirt he wore to bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He went back to Jim, who’d snuggled himself under the blankets. He slid into bed next to Jim, looking at his boyfriend’s azure eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What did you wish to discuss?” Spock asked again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim sighed and intertwined his fingers with Spock’s, “Are you okay? You’ve been getting up really early lately and when we were in the lab you said that you couldn’t sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock glanced away from Jim as if he was looking for an answer, “I am fine Jim.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim pulled Spock closer, caressing his cheek, “Somehow I don’t believe that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock didn’t say anything, just melted into Jim’s touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim hugged him, “You can tell me anything Spock. Whether it’s good or bad, I’m here for you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I simply have difficulty sleeping, Jim. It is not worth your effort in worrying about the matter,” Spock said quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim ran his fingers through ebony hair, “I think that it is worth worrying about. You are the one who said that someone can control their desire to sleep with their own mind if taught how. And you are the one who was taught how.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock looked away from Jim. He was indeed taught how. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps I simply am not skilled enough in the area to successfully implement it,” Spock suggested.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you are. You’ve done it before,” Jim said. While it didn’t sound like it, Jim knew what that was. It was a kind of self-insulting thing Spock did. Saying that maybe he just wasn’t good at something was basically a way of him saying that maybe he just isn’t good enough as a person. It’d taken a while for Jim to figure out, but now, he could spot it from a mile away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim brushed the hair out of Spock’s face, “What I’m trying to say is that I think that you’re tired enough that you can’t implement it. Like you’re tired enough that you can’t sleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock raised an eyebrow, “That is highly illogical.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it is,” Jim commented as he was very familiar with that paradox, “And yet I think that’s your problem.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock considered Jim’s words. They were in fact quite true. He was too tired to try and get in the headspace that allowed him to bring drowsiness upon himself. He was in fact tired, so much so that one would think he would’ve fallen asleep before he’d even laid down, but instead, he lay awake, his mind untamably alert. He’d tried meditating, but adding more truth to Jim’s statement, it brought no avail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim pressed a kiss to Spock’s forehead, “Can I ask why you feel that tired?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock didn’t say anything, only thought up his possible reasons.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There’s too much on my mind to sleep and it’s taking its toll. There’s work to do and for once in my life, it’s too much for me to pull together. I’m just in pain from my injury and I can’t sleep because of it. There’s just too much of everything. Maybe?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim rubbed gentle circles by Spock’s shoulder blades, “Is it more than one thing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I do not know,” was Spock’s simple reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm,” Jim hummed in reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He scooted closer, pressing Spock’s head to his chest, “Just focus on my breathing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Might I ask why?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just do it, baby,” Jim replied, stroking Spock’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two laid in silence for a couple of minutes, the Spock piped up, “I fail to see what this will do.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim shrugged, “I don’t know, but sometimes you play your lyre while I’m falling asleep, and focusing on the music helps me fall asleep.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock thought about the notion, he often did such things to calm himself, just now realizing that Jim always seemed to get the same effect from it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fascinating,” Spock mumbled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim pressed a kiss to his forehead, “You’re not going to the bridge in the morning, so however long this will take is as long as it will take.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock looked at his boyfriend, “You stated no more than 7 minutes ago, that the bridge was scheduled to open at 10:00, and used the plural, ‘we’ when discussing arrival.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim brushed his hand against Spock’s sensitive fingers, “I changed my mind. Besides, we’re just in transit. I’d rather not send you to Bones, and I think that whole bridge crew could use a break. Especially you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock looked unimpressed, Jim shook his head, Spock was without a doubt one of the most dedicated and stubborn people on the whole ship. He always did an excellent job, but he had to make sure Jim didn’t get them all killed or whatever, keep Sciences floating without actually being in the labs, do political missions when needed, try to figure out what people were trying to say under all their metaphors and the emotional language he didn’t understand, and way more than Jim could name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock was still looking at him, his big chocolate brown eyes, glistening a bit in the light from the stars. Jim thought that Spock’s puppy eyes were the cutest thing, Spock didn’t seem to know he did it, and he definitely didn’t understand the name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim nuzzled their nose’s together, “You’re cute but it’s not going to work. No matter how big you make your eyes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock raised an eyebrow, not entirely understanding what Jim meant by, “making his eyes bigger”.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim wrapped the blanket around him a little tighter, “I’ll be here with you. You won’t be missing anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock sighed, knowing this wasn’t a battle he could win.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim kissed him gently, “I’ll be right here with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Spock mumbled something in response, but no closer to falling asleep. Jim sat up and pulled Spock into his arms. He started rocking back and forth gently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Spock, what’s bothering you?” Jim asked, “Just get it off your chest. Just tell me. Good or bad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock snuggled himself into Jim, and mumbled, “Everything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim held on tighter, “And what does that mean?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock knew it was true. Everything he’d thought of in his head, all of it was true. Everything was just too much for him to process. He could’ve died a few months ago. Jim could’ve died a few months ago. Spock couldn’t think of anything to say, he just started crying. He didn’t know why he did it. He wasn’t sad, he wasn’t scared, but he felt like he needed to, like if he held back any longer, he’d just snap. Not like he had before, not like he had with Kahn, but just breakdown, destroy himself from within.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim rested his chin on the top of Spock’s head, “It’s okay, Spock. It’s going to be okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock tried to wiggle out of Jim’s embrace, but he didn’t allow it. Trying to collect himself, Spock kept repeating, “I am sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim laid him back down, but never broke the hug, “You don’t need to be embarrassed, you don’t need to be sorry, baby. Just let it out. You’re okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock hugged him tighter, “T-thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim kissed him, “It’s okay Spock.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence for a bit, before Jim commented, “You need a lighter workload, ya know that right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock didn’t say anything, but a smile ghosted his lips. He knew Jim meant it, but the way he said it was so lighthearted. The need was so obvious, and yet every time they’d figure some schedule out, it was like admiralty found a pile of reports Spock needed to do in some odd place and sent it off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim started playing with Spock’s silky hair, “You need to go to sleep though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spock ran his hand through Jim’s hair, probably the closest thing to joking around that Spock ever did, “You do as well, k’diwa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jim kissed Spock’s lips, “Goodnight sweetheart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
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